Love marriage vs Arranged marriage

 

Introduction

This is the most debated topic of this century, especially in India. Each side has its own merits and demerits. But day by day the stronger one takes influence and it dominates the other. The new concept always replaces the older one and yet it is happening now. I see the arranged marriage as an old concept in which the whole family of that particular person is involved. On the other side, in love marriage, the couple decides their own fate of their relationship.

Origin of arranged marriages:

There is a big history which answers the origin of arranged marriage. Before the British invasion, India was one of the rich countries in the world with lots of treasures and resources. They lived a sophisticated life. The next offspring of their family is considered as more precious because they owned lots of lands and resources. So, the parents want their child to get married to a financially equal family. This is one of the reasons behind arranged marriages.

And when we look on to the other perspective, India being a diversified country, it has lots of communities with different languages and many cultural practices. India, been a male-dominated society in which females, who married a man should follow her husband’s practices and religion. So, if they are involved in the inter-caste or inter-communal marriages, they afraid that their practices and their belief will come extinct. In the history of India, there are more religion and languages which have destroyed by the inter-caste and inter-communal marriages. 

In Indian culture, the children will grow up with help of their parent’s support until he/she completes his/her studies and become independent. Also, many families will be together for the whole of the lifetime and only the financial responsibilities will be given to the next generation when the man married or becomes financially independent. I think only this part of which allows us or emotionally bonds us to arranged marriages. In the case of men, he will be living with his parents. And the girl who married him would have to come to her husband’s home and live there. Nowadays this part of which is seen as cruel and it clearly depicts a male-dominated society.

The next generations are bonded emotionally with their parents and hence it is hard for many of them to get rid of arranged marriages. Even though they didn’t like it, the situation urges them to hold so. And this gives us answers to the questions that “Why Indians cannot get rid of arranged marriages?”

Arranged marriage is mainly used as a key factor in preventing their community from marrying the other community men/women. And even now many people in India are struggling to prevent their community from marrying other community men/women. In the past few years, this topic took its stance and it’s been talked about by many people in India especially among youths. 

Love marriages:

The concept of love marriage was born, when a man or a woman marries without the approval of his/her parents. And this is not tolerated by the parents in India because of the emotional and financial bonding which was given to his/her child until he/she became independent. It seems as an attachment that makes many of the parents to hate love marriages. Here comes the conflict, the emotional bonding between parents and children is the main reason for this intolerance. 

And there are very few love marriages which happened before, it’s seen as a taboo until the British invasion. After the British gave us freedom, the concept of love marriage took its stance and been talked about and encouraged by the people in India. They are many poems and stories written in Tamil, which talk about love marriages. 

What to consider?

Both love and arrange marriages has the possibility to end in divorce, we cannot guarantee in both the relationships. And yet, there is no sense in opposing these two. 

And arranged marriage is completely based on mutual understanding among parents, children, and two families. Nowadays, there is no understanding hold between parents and children. The current generation deviates from this and has gone far away from what we call arranged marriages. The arranged marriage concept seems childish like parents teaching us how to walk. A man is capable of finding his own mate and a female has the right to choose her own husband. So let’s leave it on to them to decide. Let’s not force them in this matter. 

Conclusion:

In many of the consequences, it has both merits and demerits. It is not awful to debate which is the best one. In the past century arranged marriage took its instance, but now mostly love marriage takes its stance. It is very clever to go by the stream rather than moving against it. And atlast, I conclude by saying "Don't hurt your parents."